As of late, our Boulder County community has been rocked by another devastating event –
leaving some with profound loss and others with a loss of what to do.

And it can leave any of us asking…what should we do now?

While the recent wildfire destruction is a moment in our collective history, fortunately, it does not define our will to become stronger – individually and as a region. Each of us is a source of support and has the ability to mindfully contribute to the way forward.

So how do we help those who have suffered such tremendous trauma?

Focus on supporting through not taking away

First and foremost, it’s important to understand that pain is natural part of life.

It can be difficult to think about and even harder to accept, but pain is not something we can avoid nor relieve.

This means that as much as we may want to take others’ pain away, we can’t.

A healthy way to process pain is generally to go through it rather than modify life to go around it and this is where supportive efforts (such as active listening and assistance with daily survival) that are mindful of how each individual perceives and processes his or her pain can be helpful.

Be real, don’t pretend

For some, talking openly about circumstances and feelings is therapeutic while for others, it can be overwhelming and terrifying.

It can be important to acknowledge the situation and let the person know you are there to listen, allowing them to take the lead on how much they want to share and respecting the boundaries they put in place if they don’t.

Keep in mind that during conversations you don’t have to fix or comment on their pain. Give space for them to hold the tragedy with someone they can trust and feel safe with.

It’s about them, not you

You may have went through something similar (and feel a deep connection to the other person because of it), but keep in mind that what you experienced is not exactly the same as what they have experienced.

Everyone has unique memories, accounts, and feelings that are their own. Actively listen to their story without judgement and be cautious when making comparisons.

Be creative, yet concrete, with what you can offer

During times of grief, loss, and/or trauma, many of us don’t know what we need. Our minds can be in shock and day to day survival is the only thing we can focus on.

When this is the case, offering such things as:

          – a home cooked meal
          – childcare for a few hours
          – an enjoyable respite evening from stress
          – home or car cleaning
          – help with paperwork
          – help with homework

can be meaningful ways to help others get through the day.
In addition, volunteering in the community (such as with food companies and donation centers), contributing donations (of what is needed at the moment) and gift cards, and/or providing a complimentary service (such as those for self-care) can all make a difference.

Help seek resources for healthy coping

You might not be able to be a source of support 24/7 but you can assist in finding additional services and aid for those in need.

For example, the Grief Support Network that I am a part of specializes in disaster grief as well as loss as a whole, guiding people through mindful grieving.

Also, check out:

https://www.bouldercounty.org/disasters/wildfires/marshall/ for resources as well as ways to help

and

The Postpartum Wellness Center in Boulder for 4 weeks of free therapy with their interns for parents/families effected by the fires. Contact them here.

Additional resources may be The Grief Recovery Handbook, local or online support groups, religious services, and/or gentle yoga, meditation, and Breath work classes.

Research options and share without opinions on what should be done, just provide resources for them to choose if they so desire.

There have been numerous unfortunate events in the Boulder community over the past few years and the journey through life may have more in store.

And while there is no perfect way of dealing with trauma and loss (for both the person going through it and the one supporting that person), mindful support in the face of pain can spread love and gratitude during times of tragedy.

If you or someone you know in Boulder County or Denver metro area may benefit from naturopathic medicine for trauma and grief, please call me at (303) 340-0193 or contact me here.

Together, we can safely move through this pain and create hope for the future.